This song describes where I am in my recovery.
I’m in my junior year of college, on track to graduate next year.
I have over a 3.0
I have a part-time job, and next year I’ll be a Resident Assistant. It’s something I wanted very much for myself, and one of the additional benefits is free campus housing.
And yet I have days, more so lately, where I want to sabotage all of that by giving into the ED voices in my head.
As Kimya puts it,
“I thought if I succeeded I’d be happy and they’d go away
But first thing every morning I’d still wake up and I’d hear them say
“you’re fat, ugly and stupid, you should really be ashamed
No-one will ever like you, you’re no good at anything”
And sometimes I’d rise to the challenge
But other times I’d feel so bad that I could not get out of bed.”