My dad suspected my attraction to girls before anyone else- even before I would admit it to myself.
But today I found out that no one else in my immediate family (my three siblings) believes me.
It’s not that they don’t accept gay/bisexual/transgender people.
They think I’m going through a phase, and feigning this interest in girls because it allows me to feel a part of a group.

The realization that the sister that respect so much and look up to (although she is younger) doesn’t believe me, was absolutely devastating.

My ex boyfriend is one of my best friends, and a confidant. And I know exactly how he would tell me to solve this- by sleeping with a girl!

I want to fall in love and/or have amazing lesbian sex on my own terms.

But I feel two kinds of pressure. The pressure to run screaming back into the closet and slam the door.
And the pressure to sleep with the first girl who consents.

I pick neither.

This entry was posted in Purging Thoughts Instead of Food, Queer. Bookmark the permalink.

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