In treatment I was told, “recovery is a process, not an event.”
And lately I’ve been doubtful that complete recovery is possible. At least for me. In some way, shape or form, I am always going to have an eating disorder. I’m just going to have to manage the symptoms. Recovery, for me, is the managing these symptoms. Fighting the urges. And remembering how far I’ve come.
According to Marya Hornbacher, “This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. When you eat and hate that you eat. And yet of course you must eat. You don’t really entertain the notion of going back. You with, some startling new level of clarity, realize that going back would be far worse than simply being as you are.”