Mom, is it you?

Summer has arrived. I’m not sure if it’s a crazy shift in weather, of if I was too buried in exams, final papers, and my anxiety to take notice?

My mind is made up. I’ve decided this summer I’m trying one-on-one weekly therapy. And I am really going to try this time. But I’m waiting for the office to call me back.

I dreamed last night that my mother was still alive, and found out I was purging again.
That she took care of all the details of scheduling an appointment with the therapist I hope to begin seeing again.
It was eerily similar to October of 2009, when she got me an appointment to be evaluated by a specialist.
This of course, happened after years of fights, cries for help, and denial on her end, not mine.
Dream Mom was more far more gentle. There was no shaming or judgement as there was in the waking world.
This is strange because I get a lot of visits from a dream mom. And most of the time, I have let her down, and she is yelling at me non-stop.

I wonder if my mother’s spirit is reaching out to me and encouraging me to do this.

That, or I’ve been watching too much “Long Island Medium.”

13ymclj

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This entry was posted in Processing Recovery, Purging Thoughts Instead of Food. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Mom, is it you?

  1. I’m sure the Deceased sometimes try to talk to us. I dream of my teacher sometimes. Like there’s no such thing as an opaque wall between they and us.

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