Things to Do Instead of Shop

While this is less harmful than a lot of my other compulsions and behaviors, it’s still damaging and I need to cut down.

  • Clean room and closet. (And become aware of my numerous possesions.)
  • Read a book.
  • Use Polyvore, Tumblr, or Pinterest.
  • Make kandi bracelets.
  • Pick up rocks by the river.
  • Collage.
  • Roll paper beads.
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Things to Do Instead of Cut

I often go months without cutting, but I still have urges.

  • Shave
  • Sing
  • Draw on self
  • Cover self in stickers, tape, or glue, and peel it off.
  • Run cold water off wrists.
  • Squeeze my stress ball.
  • Smell my scented candles.
  • Color.
  • Roll paper beads.
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Why this Anna outfit isn’t funny

Lets talk about ED, baby

Trigger, trigger trigger warning.

An Anna Rexia costume previously sold online in 2011 has resurfaced and was today reported on in the Huffington Post.

The outfit is skeletal and comes with a measuring tape belt.

Defending the outfit Dreamgirls International, the company who manufacture the costume, said: “We understand that some people will not find the dark humor funny … Halloween is an eccentric and irreverent holiday for people to express themselves in a myriad of ways. While some people may not like a particular costume, it is a matter of taste and personal discretion.”

The rest of the article can be read here:

Now, I’m not against any one having fun but I absolutely believe this is not a matter of taste and personal discretion its a matter of social responsibility and human compassion. If I walked out of my door on this  ‘irreverent’ holiday and saw someone wearing an…

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Laura says…

Quote of the day.

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People, places, activities. I want to avoid them all really bad but i cant or there will be consequences. and theyre so oddly specefic.
I took a shower to help me relax. Then i took a good look at myself and i felt lousy all over again.
If i was normal sized this would be a self-image problem. Since im not, it isnt. Im fat disfigured and ugly and deserve to feel bad.
As far as anxiety goes this is my lifes all time low. This worse then when i was a kid and refused to speak.
I  know im not going to die but i feel like im going to die.
I think i need to make a list of these triggers and get my school counselor or my therapist to help me find alternatives.
Triggers: fitness class. Angie. Going out in public, especially alone. Sometimes carbs are triggering. Other times theyre comforting.
Noise and crowds have always bothered me.
Fear of spending may be why going out is a trigger.
Dad is a trigger.
That one guy in food service who I swear judges what I eat.  
Posted in Purging Thoughts Instead of Food | 2 Comments

Self-Care and CBT

  • For awhile I was taking vitamin B sublingually (under the tongue) to help me fall asleep. It’s something my therapist suggested, and it was effective. But I stopped months ago when I ran out and never replaced my supply.
  • I forget to, but I really need to begin stating positive affirmations before bed.
  • For every negative thought, I should try to come up with two positive thoughts.
  • At the end of each day, list 5 things I am thankful for.
  • “I’ll know what I need to know, when I need to know it.” -Positive affirmation for test-taking.
  • Someone I work with showed me how to roll paper beads. Positive affirmations can be sealed inside of them.
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Building Upon “Negative Thoughts & Negative Beliefs”


Surfing the net, I stumbled upon an online article by Brandon Ambrosino that touches on male eating disorders, particularly amongst gay males (link is at the bottom). The article also discusses on the pressures that gay males are faced with in social media, particularly with Grindr.

Grindr is a mobile networking app targeted at gay males (having said that, there are also the lesbian and straight equivalents – Brenda and Blendr, respectively). Depending upon your location, users geographically close to you will be shown at the top of the list via thumbnail pictures. Users can also engage in text conversation with other users via the app, as well as scrolling through profiles. In the article I mentioned, Ambrosino refers to using Grindr to “window shop”, which I found fascinating because it really is reflective of the attitude within the gay community, be it be lesbian or gay. Actually. Perhaps even…

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